I wouldn’t be a first-time mom without my younger sister, Stephanie, my surrogate, and my best friend.
She’s always been brave and gone first. As a child, she’d comfort me as I’d peer down the long hall of the dentist’s office. With butterflies in my stomach, I’d step back and say, “You go first.” Without hesitation, she’d go back to see the doctor, come back, and say, “Now it’s your turn.” Walking back with me, she’d hold my hand and tell me it would be okay.
After a four-year battle with infertility and the news that I could not carry, Stephanie is again walking by my side as she is carrying my pregnancy for me in such a selfless way. Her true joy and purpose has been to give me the gift of being a mother and for me to experience the love of having a child.
I want to share my story so that I can help others… so that I can love others. Infertility is a lonely place but the reality is that I was not alone. As I endured my own battles, I began to notice more and more women sharing that they, too, struggled. For a myriad of reasons many don’t want to talk about it – I understand that. But I have a heart to love those who struggle with this. As my sister has fearlessly and selflessly loved me, I want to provide hope to those who need it. Though doctors were discouraged, my sister helped me accomplish my dream of being a mother.
I will be a first-time mother but I want to celebrate the unconditional love she has shown. Already a wife and mother of four of her own, I want to recognize the additional sacrifice she is making, the additional discomfort she has taken on, but also the strength, love, and courage she has displayed to help me become a mother.
As I look to the last trimester, I imagine the beautiful birth, where my sister will hold him as he takes his first breath, hand me our miracle boy, and once again say, “now it’s your turn.”
Thank you, Stephanie, for always being willing to go first. Because of you, I am a mother.
